30DC: 04, 05, 06

So maybe I’m not very good at writing every friggin day, but I think I make it up by being slightly entertaining, no? Humor me, please. Oh – and refresher – this is the challenge.

04: Bullet your entire day

(This was for Saturday, so I guess it’ll be only truthful to write about it)

  • 9:30: wake up in glorious realization that I slept in, and hadn’t slept for 9 hours in a while
  • 10: breakfast of mock huevos rancheros (alas, no picture)
  • 10:30-2:30: more food, more rejoicing, more laziness of epic proportions (with some chores). Plan for my fraternity – deal with emails & egos
  • 3:00-6: Run around frantically at the mall, trying to find clothes to buy for my brothers
  • 6-7: Dinner with one of my old friends from my camp counseling days, reminiscing about High School horniness (which we’ve concluded that high school students have too much testosterone [male and female alike], leading in freshman year crazy sex-a-thons), sexuality, and how Coke made in Mexico is far superior to it’s American counterpart.
  • 7-7:30 purchase cheese, crackers, bread, and other anti-pasto goodies
  • 8:00-sleeping time: consume said cheese, crackers, bread and other anti-pasto goodies with lots of WINE. Enjoy life and contemplate the goodness of simple meals.
  • Brush teeth
  • check emails once more, reply if needed
  • say good night to the boypren
  • Sleep and dream vivid dreams

05: Things you want to say to your ex

Oh, dear. To be quite honest, I’ve been looking forward to this specific prompt. I’m not sure which ex I wanted to “bullet” about – one was uber douche (and now with a kid!) and the other is in the military. So, I guess, I’ll speak to the general ex since they were both part of a summer fling.

  • As mean as this sounds, the fact that you knocked someone up and got kicked out of your house is a great beginning for your karmic-ass-whooping to come back to you. Serves you right for having sexual relationships with underaged girls, you dirt bag!
  • I knew I should have never trusted either you when you said “if we started dating I would give up XYZ” – whatta line, ladies, it’s a great way to make a person feel guilty and a great impetus to date him/her.
  • I should have remembered that you were a creepy guy back then, and time only intensified it. That, and the fact that your parents thought I was “the only good one” and the frist that you introduced them to speaks volumes.
  • I’m kinda sad that you’re half way around the world, but, I think it’s for the best — you call yourself a gentleman but I know you wouldn’t be able to hold off if we met up. So, shoo! Go away.
  • I wish you were my first, instead of him.
  • You’re not that cute, with your shirt off, just showered, washboard stomach, v-cut……. HOT DAMN. I hate you. I told you to stop sending me photos you jerk! *delete delete*
  • I really hope you didn’t keep those videos and photos. I really, really, really hope you got rid of them.
  • Was I just a conquest? No, seriously.
  • For all the girls you’ve ever had sex with – damn you! Friggin bareback, I’ll never forgive you – I’m happy I didn’t contract anything. So, very, very, very, happy. No wonder you preferred virgins.
  • You were one of the reason my body looked so good back then. The 2 mile run to your house put me in such great shape for the sport season. So, I guess I have to thank you.

Now that I’ve written all of that out, to be honest, I actually don’t harbor that much resentment to the both of them. I’m in such a loving relationship right now that I’ve – aghast! – at the point that I don’t care about my ex’s anymore. Either I’ve grown up, just plain forgotten the shitty relationships I had with them, or I just don’t care anymore. I’d like to think it’s a combination of all three.

Yes, I’ve had some very poor judgement of guys, but I can whole-heartedly admit that I was a sucker for those perceived “lost, broken, emotionally scarred” type of guys. Growing up, for me, was realizing that they 1) aren’t worth the time 2) are either faking it, or really need help, and it’s best of stay in the “friend zone” for both of your sakes and 3) If you didn’t like them then, be very cautious if you’re thinking of liking them now.

Just my two cents.

06: Views on mainstream music

Who am I to judge what is sound-worthy and what isn’t? Everyone has their own tastes, from gangster, sex filled rap to the ever popular bluegrass.

For the record — I try to listen to all music, even at least once.

Keep listening to what you want. But, if we’re driving in the car together and something plays that I’m not particularly fond off, please be ready for me to counter with, at the top of my lungs, “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy….”

Of course I’m kidding! Why would I give my number to a stranger, huh?!

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